After a Decade And a Half
Written May 12, 2005
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... I have a blog! So here I am filling up some empty webspace trying to maximize my opportunity to clamor my thoughts.
Im feeling kinda naughty tonight and I got nothing much to rant and rave about that's why it's upsetting me. It's making me feel that I got no purpose in life if I dont have anything to complain with. It's ruining the chemical composition of my whole being. It's not me.
Ok, fine. Let's find different things that I hate at this particular time.
I hate my keyboard. I hate that I have to press every single letter to spell out the words that I have in mind. Wont anyone be able to develop a machine that can just read your thoughts and put it into writing whenever you will it? Bah! Thinking alone is difficult enough and doubling your effort with spelling it right is adding up to the pressure.
I hate my mouse. Holding a real live mouse can be an eerie experience. Why did the computer geekazoids ever thought of naming the scroll thingy a mouse?!? Why didn't they name it pussy instead? Teaching a computer class can be hilarious: "Class, scroll your pussies to the right." Or "Everyone, please click your pussies". The whole idea of touching it is making me puke. But I'm sure every single guy would die to have one.
I hate SPAM. I'm not referring to the sweet and salty thingy that you can eat straight from the can. I'm talking about the senseless emails that you send me all the time and I would have to forward to 10,000 people in less than 30 seconds or else I'm gonna be so out of luck that a plane would drop off my head the minute I walk out the door, or some poor little kid from some never-heard country in South Africa will starve to death while forever being tied to a rotting dead camel.
I hate pop ups. I hate that some marketing demon ever thought of shoving up an advertisement straight up your face. And even after closing it out, it keeps on coming up with different scam materials ranging from women wearing laces and dog collars to a winning lottery ticket.
I hate blogs. I hate the feeling that everytime I log on to my profile I feel guilty because I'm unable to update it. And my fans from the farthest corners of the world and beings from different dimensions and planes are getting disappointed because I havent made an entry for the longest time and they got nothing to entertain them with their boring lives.
Ok, you can shoot me now.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... I have a blog! So here I am filling up some empty webspace trying to maximize my opportunity to clamor my thoughts.
Im feeling kinda naughty tonight and I got nothing much to rant and rave about that's why it's upsetting me. It's making me feel that I got no purpose in life if I dont have anything to complain with. It's ruining the chemical composition of my whole being. It's not me.
Ok, fine. Let's find different things that I hate at this particular time.
I hate my keyboard. I hate that I have to press every single letter to spell out the words that I have in mind. Wont anyone be able to develop a machine that can just read your thoughts and put it into writing whenever you will it? Bah! Thinking alone is difficult enough and doubling your effort with spelling it right is adding up to the pressure.
I hate my mouse. Holding a real live mouse can be an eerie experience. Why did the computer geekazoids ever thought of naming the scroll thingy a mouse?!? Why didn't they name it pussy instead? Teaching a computer class can be hilarious: "Class, scroll your pussies to the right." Or "Everyone, please click your pussies". The whole idea of touching it is making me puke. But I'm sure every single guy would die to have one.
I hate SPAM. I'm not referring to the sweet and salty thingy that you can eat straight from the can. I'm talking about the senseless emails that you send me all the time and I would have to forward to 10,000 people in less than 30 seconds or else I'm gonna be so out of luck that a plane would drop off my head the minute I walk out the door, or some poor little kid from some never-heard country in South Africa will starve to death while forever being tied to a rotting dead camel.
I hate pop ups. I hate that some marketing demon ever thought of shoving up an advertisement straight up your face. And even after closing it out, it keeps on coming up with different scam materials ranging from women wearing laces and dog collars to a winning lottery ticket.
I hate blogs. I hate the feeling that everytime I log on to my profile I feel guilty because I'm unable to update it. And my fans from the farthest corners of the world and beings from different dimensions and planes are getting disappointed because I havent made an entry for the longest time and they got nothing to entertain them with their boring lives.
Ok, you can shoot me now.
posted by Tristan at 2:46 AM
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