Almost Famous

Written April 14, 2005

Finally after almost a week, I found the energy and the right mindset to write again. There's something wrong with me. I'm not sure if it can be clinically diagnosed but Im feeling weak, lacking zest. I dont have much appetite and I've lost a lot of weight. A lot because people are starting to notice it. It feels like I have Tom Hanks' disease in Joe Versus the Volcano. I think his physician referred to it as "brain cloud". Is there even such a thing? It doesnt matter. Sounds cool though.

The whole week has been pretty heavy. I felt so stressed out and had to be absent for one day because I wasn't feeling too good anymore. My self confidence and self esteem has been at its lowest as well. Damn it's starting to look like it's gonna be an annus horribilis for me. Hope not.

Last night when I was at work, I got the news that my agent, Pao, didnt get his promotion. I got frustrated but I tried not to show it. When my other agents didnt get their promotion it didn't bother me much. It's not because I dont care for them, it's just that Pao went all the way to the final interview and unfortunately, he didnt meet the cut. Nevertheless, I'm sure people started to look at him in a different way. He is almost famous.

He's like a little sister to me. Y'know the kind where I'd walk on the stage in my evening gown and 3-inch heels waving on the crowd and he's right there on the stage together with the rest of the little sisters singing, you are my star, you light my way... and handing over a stem of rose to me and we'll gonna walk hand in hand then wave together for everyone to see, me in my gown, him in his doll dress. That is the gayest thing I ever thought of my whole life. Swear!

Oh well, I'm sure he's gonna get there someday. As for now, he's gonna have to settle being a little sister and wait til he grows more and be the next Miss Universe.